I Was Selfishly Using God

I have a confession to make.
I was selfishly using God...
And I didn't even know till now.

I'm in a season where my work load has multiplied, I'm learning to lean into God more than ever.

The amazing part...
God is taking the impossible work load and making it possible.
He is making it flow together in a way that I don't understand.
He is covering me in peace when most people would be stressed out and losing sleep.

However, as the work load continues and my flesh wants to panic and worry,
I began to change the routine God gave me.
I began to feel "behind" and wanted to find a way to "catch up".

I decided to carve out more time for God in the morning to seek his wisdom and guidance.
I woke up an hour earlier which put me below the sleep my body needs.
Sacrificing my sleep to spend more time with God.
Sounds quite admirable, right?
What could possibly be wrong with that?

I already had instructions for my sleep schedule given to me in previous prayer.
But in MY infinite wisdom, I changed it because I thought I needed more time with God.

As the days wore on, my mind began to falter from lack of sleep.

I gritted through it like a champ and continued to push myself.
Until... I was falling asleep during my morning God time.

Then the TRUTH BOMB was dropped...

God asked, "Are you wanting more time with Me out of scarcity and lack of planning?"
*Jaw drop opens*
I couldn't believe it!!

I wasn't wanting to spend more time out of LOVE, but out of fear and scarcity.
I was afraid I was missing my mark.
I was afraid I wasn't planning enough.
I was afraid that I was going to mess something up.
I was acting out of fear not out of love or obedience.

I was using God to make myself feel better.
In my mind if I physically spent more time with God, I thought I was going to get better results.
On the surface, it logically made sense.
But in my heart, it was all WRONG!

God doesn't ask me to give up my sleep so that my mind and body breaks down.
He isn't so small that He can't help me succeed in business and in health.
He isn't so stingy that He wants you to get sick while serving Him.
God is a big, powerful, generous God.

He cares for our health.
He cares for our family and our business.
He cares for our finances and our future.
He cares for ALL.

I underestimated Him.
I was selfish to boot.
Even when I don't 100% hit the mark, God gives me grace.
He knows how much I tried and knows I'm human.
Just because I didn't follow the plan 100% doesn't make me a failure.
It makes me human.

Many times we punish ourselves for not hitting a high goal that was crazy in the first place.
We shame and guilt ourselves thinking we should have done it all.
Thank God, He's not that harsh and cruel.
When we trip or fall, God picks us back up.
When we did 90% instead of 110%, He celebrates the win.
He doesn't make excuses to punish us.
He makes excuses to lift us up.
He even came down to die for our sins so we can be with Him forever.

In reality...
We're quite the weak, ungrateful little creature that doesn't even recognize how powerful our creator is.
We're dumb like lamb. (I say that with love.) Baa-aa-aahh.
Thank God He will leave the 99 to find the 1 lost lamb.

I can't even fathom how many times God had to leave the 99 to come find my sorry butt.
I can't imagine how many more times I will stray and He will have to fetch me again.
But God is ever so patient...
Ever so kind,
Ever so loving and gentle.

I praise God today in the middle of my screw ups.
I praise God in the middle of my hot mess.
I praise God for His faithfulness.

I pray that I will praise God every day with my whole heart.

I want you to remember that even when we mistreat God, He will never mistreat You.
He loves You.
He adores You.
He died for You.

If You let Him, He wants to do so much more with you.
He wants to mold you,
Refine you,
Shape you into an amazing warrior and champion.

He put a fire in you that thirsts for VICTORY.
He put a hunger in you to be CHAMPION of truth.
He put a desire in you to be GREAT, not just for you but for God's kingdom.

The fight for God's KINGDOM.
There's a SPIRITUAL battle all around us.
That's where the REAL fight is at.
That's where the juice is WORTH the squeeze.
Invest in your eternal rewards vs the earthly riches.

Closings, commissions, profit is all fine and dandy...
But God's plan,
His eternal riches,
That's the only 100% guaranteed investment.

Just like we invest in real estate,
Allow God to invest in you and multiply results in changing lives.
He can turn your little human things and turn it into BIG God things.

Just open the door to your heart.

Pray this...

Use me.
Mold me.
Shape me.

Turn my little human thing and make it into a BIG God thing.
I want to play ALL OUT with You.
I want to triumph with you.
I want to move the kingdom forward with You.
I want the heavens to roar with victory in the way You use me to WIN.

Come into my heart today.
Unleash the fullness of Your plans into my life.

I declare victory in Jesus name.


"If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord."

Cheers to your success!!
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